Why I'll never be driving outside of the Garden State again.

Original post: December 1, 2005

Sometime in September: Chris tells Ian it will be a great idea to go see Blast on December 1 in Hershey, PA. Ian agrees, and quickly signs up. He mails Chris a check.

November 25th, Thanksgiving Day: Chris tells Ian that, even though it was his idea, he cannot attend the concert. Apparently, he's had rehearsal scheduled for that night since October. Ian thinks Chris is a jerk.

December 1st, 6:30 AM: Ian wakes up for work. He has to go in early because he has to leave early for the show.

7:45 AM: Ian arrives at work.

12:00 PM: Ian gets hunger pains because he has to skip his lunch break.

2:00 PM: Ian counts his cash drawer for the day. He is ten dollars short. It is the first time in five months this has occured. It is not his fault.
Ian: Sarah, didn't you take a roll of quarters off me earlier?
Sarah: Yeah, why?
Ian: Did you give me a ten for it?
Sarah: Of course I did.
Ian: Are you sure? I was on the other side of the room at the time.
Sarah: Yeah, I put it in your drawer.
Ian: You better have.
Sarah: Look, if I'm off later, I'll give it to you.

2:30 PM: Ian returns home, changes and eats Beefaroni.

3:30 PM: Kate arrives at Ian's. Ian dreads having to drive 2 hours to see Blast.

4:00 PM: Ian and Kate arrive at Walgreen's to pick up Dan. Ian still dreads the drive.

4:20 PM: Katherine is picked up at her house. They all go off to see the Wizard. I mean, they go to Wawa.

4:30 PM: The crew embark on their journey on the PA Turnpike.

4:45 PM: They reach some congestion before the Neshaminy Plaza. Ian thinks Chris is an ass.

5:15 PM: Road sign states "Philadelphia, 2 miles."

5:25 PM: The driver of the car in front of them starts sticking his arm out the window and waving randomly. Ian is perplexed.

5:45 PM: Road sign states "Philadelphia, 1 mile." Ian thinks Chris is a douchebag.

6:20 PM: Ian finally sees a gap in the left lane for him to squeeze into. It appears all the other cars are trying to get into his lane. He makes a break for it, only to discover that there's a contruction vehicle with the flashing arrow forcing everyone into the right lane. Ian turns a bright shade of magenta.

6:30 PM: At the Philadelphia exit, everyone on the Turnpike is funneled onto Route 1. The entire Westbound side of the PA Turnpike is shut down due to an accident.

6:35 PM: Ian has the sudden urge to stop the car, approach the car in front of theirs, and cut the guy's arm off. He ultimately decides against it. Ian hates paperwork.

6:40 PM: Ian and crew decide that they would be better off to follow Route 1 back into New Jersey and go somewhere else for the evening.

7:00 PM: They arrive at Friendly's Restaurant in Burlington.

7:15 PM: Ian sends Chris a text message stating he will eat Chris's unborn child the next time he sees him.

8:00 PM: They return to Ian's abode to explain things to his parents and watch Half-Baked.

9:40 PM: Ian returns the children to their respective places of residence.

10:15 PM: Ian writes a blog about his first driving experience outside of Jersey. Then he blows his brains out.