A night at the movies.

Original post: December 22, 2007

A few weeks ago I had read the book I Am Legend, so needless to say, I was uber-psyched to see the movie once it came out. Chris and I decided tonight would be the night to check it out.

I don't know how I do it, but every time I go the theater, I manage to invite the most irritating person there to come sit next to me. It's either something in my mannerisms or it's just the pheromones I give off, but it's destined to happen.

So, both seats are open on either side of Chris and myself as the previews are starting. Naturally, this woman comes up to the seat next to the person who doesn't like sitting between people and sits her annoying ass down. I must've been asking for it.

Then the movie started. It wasn't as great as I was expecting. Basically, they took the story from the book, read it, rearranged some things, shit on it, then ultimately threw it all out the window and started from scratch. A lot of the parts that I found intriguing about the book were nowhere to be seen on film.

Even with all that said, I probably would've enjoyed it more had I not been sitting next to Ms. Typical Stereotype. Here's my impression of her throughout the whole movie:


Sad part: "Awww..." Repeat every five seconds.
Suspenseful part: "Oooohhh..." as she cringed up next to her boyfriend. Repeat every five seconds.
Will Smith gets a leg wound: "Oh, shit!" Repeat every five seconds.

Then I socked her in the cooch. Seriously, nothing shuts up stupid bitches better than a good beaver-punch. I felt a lot better afterwards.