Original post: August 13, 2007
The following are several stories that were too short to fill up a regular blog, but combined create one super-blog. Enjoy!
1) After I wrote the blog about my mom wanting me to be gay, Chris and I were talking online, and this comment came up:
Chris: I'm gonna call you Queeran from now on, okay?
Me: Do I have a choice?
Chris: Not really.
Me: Fine, then.
2) Ralph and I have decided that doing an impression of Don Knotts is the funniest thing ever. At first, we just had him saying ridiculous things, like, "Hi, I'm Don Knotts. You might remember me from The Incredible Mister Limpet. Are you tired of being an incredible Mister Limpet? Try Viagra!" Then, we started getting into famous quotes from movies and songs. "I'm Spartacus!" "Oops, I did it, again." Etc. I hadn't laughed so hard since we were telling Kate all the "spoilers" for Harry Potter.
3) I was in Wendy's the other day, and as I perused the menu, the Ultimate Chicken Grill caught my eye. Not because it was particularly appetizing, but because of the note sitting next to the picture. Apparently, this sandwich is "Now Tastier." How the hell can they possibly back up this claim? Unless there's one person that is constantly tasting every sandwich ever made all across the country, (and outside of it) before they're given to the public, then they have no proof.
4) On my way to my parents' house on Friday, I passed a car that had a vanity license plate. It said "PRVRB 31". Being the definitive go-to Bible guy, I texted Ralph.
Me: Any idea what Proverbs 31 is?
Ralph: It's the epilogue titled "A Wife of Character." It highlights the proper role of a wife.
Me: Why the hell would someone put that on a license plate?
Ralph: Haha, no idea.
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