Because I was told to.

Original post: October 24, 2006

Due to both the lack of personal stories and a high demand from my roommate to post a new blog, I've decided to write one about a funny dream I had one time.

Now, this was several months ago, but while I was at work, some people came in with kittens in a basket that they wished to give away. I was down in the drive, and Zach told me to come look at them.

"Oh, how adorable!" I exclaimed. "I really shouldn't bring these home. Our landlord doesn't know about the eight we already have."

So, after I petted the kitties and gave them a lot of attention, the kitten-vendors went on their merry way.

"Dude, that guy gave you the funniest look."
"What?"
"He must've thought you were gay."
"Why do you say that?"
"'Cause of the way you said the kittens were adorable."
"I see..."
"Also, you're wearing that purple shirt."
"Well, of course, those two small instances make me gay in a stranger's mind. Whatever."

Anyway, that night, I had a dream where I was at a party with a bunch of friends and family. I kept trying to talk to the ladies and try to get my hands in some of their panties, but all they wanted to talk to me about was how I came out of the closet and how brave I was for it. I had no idea where they had got that idea from. After a few minutes, I started getting annoyed and screamed out, "Why does everybody think I'm gay?! I'M NOT GAY!!!"

Then I woke up. I told some people the next day at work, and it got quiet right before I said the "I'm not gay" part.

Sherry: "What are you yelling about down there?"
Me: "Sorry. Was that loud?"
Sherry: "Yeah, you're too funny."
Me: "Well, I'm not."
Sherry: "Funny?"
Me: "No, gay."

Don't get me wrong, I have no question about my sexuality, but every once in a while, I get the feeling that the ladies might think I don't swing their way. Anyone wanna prove my theory wrong?