Weekly stuff

What was the best day of your life to date? Why?
The day Cheri and I got engaged, of course. I don't need to explain why.

If you could have the starring role in one movie what would it be?
Indiana Jones. Hands down.

When you were young what career did you wish to have when you grew up?
Depends. In middle school and freshman year, I wanted to be a musician. Then I started getting into the school plays, and I wanted to be an actor.

What harmless pet peeve annoys you the most?
When people use phrases like "All of the sudden," I die a little bit inside.

You've been given the chance to go either five years in the past or five years into the future, which do you choose and why?
The future. I'd rather not relive my time at Farmers.

On the same general track, If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?
Quit being so emo. Life is a lot more fun when you don't worry about things constantly.

If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?
All over the United Kingdom. There are lots of places there I would love to see.

Weekly questionnaire.

What would you say is the funniest Facebook status update in your feed or Tweet in your feed?
Currently, it's: Sir... Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can go through menopause.

What's the weirdest dream (or nightmare) you can remember having?
The only one I can really remember was when my manager tried to hook me up with her third daughter (who doesn't exist. She only has two).

You have to pick a non-bug species of creature to go extinct. What do you pick (and why)?
Skunks. I'm not sure if they actually affect the world around them, besides stinking up the joint.

What are the three worst movies you secretly (or maybe not-so-secretly) love?
1) Demolition Man is apparently a bad movie.
2) Midnight Madness. Look it up.
3) Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Even though clowns freak me right the fuck out.

You get to decide a new method for electing or selecting the ruler of our country. What do you choose (and don't say yourself, you cop-out)?
I would get rid of the Electoral college and make it so you have to take a test before being granted the ability to vote.

Quick, choose someone you'd like to banish from our solar system! And tell us why they deserve to be banished.
The cast of Jersey Shore. I don't need to explain myself. They're just awful human beings.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? You may name three and only three, but they would not be in conjunction with one another. And don't be lame and say "I'd have Superman's powers." Each power must be only one ability. Elaborate as you see fit.
1) Perfect Vision.
2)Perfect Aim
3) Mad bow and arrow skillz.
Basically, I want to be Green Arrow.

Ridiculous Questions

How Much Money Do You Have in Your Pockets?
$0.00 but I have plenty of money on my debit card.

What is the funniest Text on your phone right now?
Someone just nearly shit their pants when I said Dragon Ball is awful. My day is complete.

Have you ever pretended to be someone else on the phone?
I called the Hooked on Phonics number once as Arnold Schwarzenegger. They didn't believe me. Also, when I was in Disney World, a few of us pretended we were British and went up to one of the video Information Booths. We positioned ourselves so that Epcot Center was directly behind us, visible to the lady on camera, and we kept asking her "where the giant golfball is." After a few minutes, one of us turned around dramatically and went, "Oh, there it is!"

What happens when you hit a ninja with a car?
I would never know. That scenario can only happen in an alternate universe in which ninjas are lame and can be killed by cars.

If you could have chosen your own name what would it be?
Steve? I don't know. I'm just sick of people not paying enough attention when I tell them, or when they read it, to still pronounce it wrong. I had a customer at Farmers and Mechanics who looked directly at my nameplate and called me Ivan. I didn't care enough anymore to correct her, so I was Ivan forever more.

If you could only have one type of sandwich for the rest of your life what would it be?
The Illiterate Deli next door to my work used to make a ham sandwich called the Hamster. Nowadays they suck and are making zero good sandwiches. I think they're going out of business.

Anything else I should know?
I would love to become a Ghost Hunter, but I would probably pee myself if I was confronted by an actual ghost.

Ghost Hunters: New Jersey

I'm now under the firm belief that our apartment is haunted. A few months ago, Cheri and I were out somewhere, whether it was to dinner or we spent the night out, I don't remember. When we returned, the clock in the kitchen had fallen and presumably rolled from the far end to the doorway. Since we didn't witness it, we couldn't be sure that it wasn't because Upstairs Guy was stomping around and the vibrations knocked it from its perch. We put it from our minds and went about our daily lives. When I went home for lunch today, Cheri told me that it happened the other day. She was in the kitchen and nowhere near the wall, and the clock hit her in the shoulder before hitting anything else on the way to the floor. Now, the clock is hung on a push pin, so in order for it to come down in any fashion, something would have to pick it up over the lip on the push pin. She didn't bump into the wall, and Upstairs Guy wasn't even home.

Other instances include seeing movement out of the corner of my eye in the evenings by the front door, and hearing the sounds of something moving from the front door area through the apartment to outside our bedroom. The second one I thought was just Upstairs Guy walking around, but Cheri says she's heard it while she can clearly hear him snoring in his bed.

Also, I found one of my Indiana Jones figures moved from its place on the shelf to the beanbag chair across the room. Cheri says she could've knocked it down when she got home from work one day, but now I'm not so sure...

Anybody know the number for Jay and Grant?