Quarters

Hey, you guys remember how for the past 7,000 years America has been minting quarters for every state? And you could put them in the collector's "map" that had holes for all 50 of them? Well, they finished up with that by the end of last year with Hawaii. Hooray, the collection is complete! But what's this? In January, they started making quarters for D.C. First of all, that's dumb, because it's not a state. Second, there's no place for it on the map, so do the American people have to get an entirely new map? And third, if they're going that far, why don't they go into Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, etc? Guess what? They are! On top of all that, there's now a vote out for Delaware residents to vote on the image to be printed on their next quarter!! They're starting this crap ALL OVER AGAIN! Here's a great way to stimulate the economy. Spend money to make a special quarter, then have the public trade in $10 for a roll of said quarters that will never be spent on anything because it's a collector's item that should never see the light of day again. Way to go, America!

Chocolate: An Addendum

If Mr. Reese had been selling feces rather than pieces of sweet, sweet candy, I could make an exception to the pronunciation. Thank "god" he didn't. Thanks to Christina for pointing that out to me.

Email

I hate the email server at work. I've been trying to send out emails all morning and they only get there after I send about 16 to that person...

Breakfast

Whoever invented waffles should be nominated for sainthood, if they haven't been already.

Customers

When you call a business, like a bank, with a specific topic in mind, please state all important facts at the beginning of the conversation.

Case in point:
Caller: I was told to call back after Wednesday if my brother didn't get his income tax forms from you by then. I do all his banking for him.
Me: Okay... What's his name?
Caller: (Name and address withheld.)
Me: And you are...?
Caller: (Name and address withheld.)
Me: Well, your brother's going to have to call us or come in to verify himself because you're not on this account or even in our database.
Caller: Well, he can't be doing that. He died on Monday.

You couldn't bring that up in the first place? That seems like something I should know in order to have the conversation you're looking for.

After I told Bernadette about it, she says, "Well of course he didn't get it. They don't mail up there!"
And that's why I like my boss.

Cleaners

The cleaners at my job are an odd bunch. On one corner of my desk, I keep my name plate, business cards, and various signs stating policies and such. I like to keep that in a specific order. If I place it in that fashion, and the cleaners come that night, I will find them in a different order the next morning. However, if I leave it the way they put it, it won't be touched the next time they're around. What's even weirder is they never put it the same way twice, so I know they don't have a specific set-up that they like. It's like they know which way I prefer to set up my desk and purposely mess it up when they see it like that. Dicks.

A Letter

To the guy in the BMW that is tailgating me:

Why are you doing that? I'm going to get out of my car at the next light and take a dump on your windshield. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Ian Matthew Borgstrom III, Esquire

Snow

Whenever there's the slightest bit of snow in New Jersey, everyone clogs the stores to stock up on supplies to "tough out the blizzard." They always get the same things: Bread, milk and eggs. No more, no less. Because, obviously, the prefered food of winter storms is French Toast.

Chocolate

For the last time, Reese's Pieces is not pronounced Reesy's Peeseys. His name was Reese, and they were his pieces. You don't ask for two peeseys of paper, do you?

Denny's

I'm kinda pissed off that I missed the free Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's today. Destroying my toilet later would've totally been worth it.

Girl Scouts

Did you know that the Girl Scouts of America can waltz into any place of business with their cookies and set up shop without telling them specifically? I just found that out the other day. Must be nice to have that kind of power...

Heroes

I just realized that Sylar is a lot like Superman, in that he has too many powers. Only difference is that Sylar had to kill people to get those powers, which makes him infinitely better.

Winnings.

I'm excited about winning $180 on the Super Bowl last night. Considering I wasn't going to play the block pool at all, I think I made a great decision. Thanks to Ken for telling me if I buy four blocks and win one, I've made my money back. Good advice. Sorry you didn't win anything, though...

Endings.

I found out today that I absolutely hate giving away the ending to shows or movies. To the point that I yell at someone when they want to know way before we get to the ending.