Another rant.

Original post: January 9, 2008

Why do girls enjoy making me feel like a complete failure at everything? I was talking to my friend Steph online (she's not the one that makes me feel bad) and she asked me if I was seeing anyone.
"No," I replied.
"Any prospects?" she asks.
"No," I responded.
"Nobody wants anything to do with me, and that's kinda hard on the old ego, you know?"
"I'm sure you're exaggerating..."
"You think?"
"You have to be..."
"I doubt it. I try CONSTANTLY. To no avail."
"Well, I think that people just don't give you enough of a chance. I think that you are great."
"Right, 'cause you took the time to get to know me. Nobody else wants to do that these days."

And then, it spiraled down into the nine circles of my own private hell. I informed her of all the bad luck I've had on the dating scene, which she responded to with the age-old "Well, if it makes you feel better, I'd date you if I was living there and I wasn't married."

Ain't that the story of my life? I hear that all the time... "I like you, I really do, but there's someone else I like (a) just a little bit more, or (b) less, but I don't want to ruin something that might not be good for me in the long run."

I told her that it's always one of two things:
1) They like me, but they're seeing someone else. (See above.)
Or 2) They like me, but I think they're actually some kind of giant slug in disguise. (and not a very good disguise, at that.)

Okay, I didn't say that, but it's true! I also mentioned the one time I found someone who actually WAS single and was flirting with me at a party once, then when I asked her out, she only said, "Thanks, but no."

Ouch, my pride... Apparently, she didn't even want to have a free meal around me, she couldn't stand me that much. "What did I do wrong that time?" I asked Steph.
"Nothing," she says.

EXACTLY! Why is it that I know that I'm funny, smart, attractive (mildly), charming, and yet women like to shun me like I'm some kind of a leper, highly contagious and yearning to pass it on to a new victim. I'm doing everything right, but nobody wants to see that. If it ain't broke, we can't fix it, I suppose they're thinking. I'm too perfect. That's it! I think we've solved it! Well, I guess I can stop worrying. I can live with a life of celibacy if I'm perfect in every way imaginable.