What the hell is wrong with me?

Original post: October 10, 2007

Once again, I've made it abundantly clear to myself that I'm destined to be single. At least for a little while longer.

While working at Boyd's tonight, I had the pleasure of working the counter the whole time. At one point, it was quiet, and I kind of zoned out, like you do. Then, this fine young lady walks in. I helped her find the chips and some soda. We made some idle chit chat, and she left. And the whole time, the back of my brain is screaming, Ask her out! Ask her out! I had all the words to use, too. She seemed like she was either new to town, or just visiting for the night, so I thought I should ask her if I could show her around. You know, in a non-creepy manner. Everything was going good, but I just couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud. It was right there, and it couldn't be uttered! What the fuck?! And I could tell she would have definitely agreed to it. Or at least put me down nicely. And I really REALLY thought that I had changed in that regard. I usually don't mind asking someone out, because there's not that many people I'm attracted to anymore.. But tonight, it got to the point that I was ANGRY at myself because I said nothing. If she was just visiting, then I'll never get the chance again. I seriously was hoping she came back in for another quick snack or something, 'cause I psyched myself up for it. But, of course, she didn't. So instead, I write this and sigh. Oh well. Maybe luck's just taking a break with me.